What Matters Most To You Right Now?

Identify Your Hierarchy of Needs and Discover Practical Ways to Meet Them

The path to greater wellbeing can look wildly different for each of us. What we consider the threshold for feeling healthy and happy isn’t one-size-fits-all. For some, it’s a sense of peace and purpose. For others, it’s financial stability, meaningful connection, or creative freedom.

Source: Holism Haus

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs might serve as a useful guide—a reminder of what we need not just to survive, but to thrive. His model breaks down human needs into a pyramid, starting with our most basic physiological requirements and building up toward self-actualisation and even transcendence. Here’s a quick recap:

1. Physiological – Food, sleep, shelter, etc.

2. Safety & Security – Financial stability, physical safety, social security, mental and physical health

3. Love & Belonging – Relationships, connection, community

4. Esteem – Respect, recognition, confidence

5. Self-Actualisation – Personal growth, purpose, potential

Maslow started off with five groups and eventually expanded it further to include:

6. Cognitive – Curiosity, knowledge, understanding

7. Aesthetic – Beauty, balance, appreciation of art and nature

8. Transcendence – Serving or connecting to something greater than oneself

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When I revisited Maslow’s pyramid recently, it gave me a sense of clarity about what we’re all fundamentally seeking as humans. But I also found the structure a bit rigid and overly generalised. Life—and human motivation—is far messier.

For instance, not everyone prioritises their physical health, even though it’s at the foundation of the pyramid. Take regular smokers or vapers: many willingly compromise their health to satisfy needs for pleasure, relaxation, or a sense of belonging. Similarly, some people may find deeper joy in meaningful relationships than in achieving their “greater potential,” especially if self-actualisation requires sacrificing some connections.

It’s not an either/or situation, of course. But the drive to meet certain needs over others depends heavily on individual personality, upbringing, social conditioning, and current life circumstances.

Once upon a time, my drive to self-actualise through purpose felt more pressing than that of financial security. Both mattered, but I was willing to give up a stable job to focus on purpose-driven work that didn’t meet all my financial needs. Now, financial security feels more pressing due to the rising cost of living and my personal life circumstances. Despite this shift, I still find a way to meet my needs for fulfilling my purpose in small achievable ways, like writing Wellnotes!

And, let’s take Prince Harry, for example. Born into immense wealth, his basic needs were always met. From the outside, his wellbeing focus seemed to revolve more around esteem and love. Yet, after distancing himself from “The Firm,” you can see how his priorities shifted—toward safety, self-actualisation, and telling his truth, even at the cost of belonging.

On the flip side, someone living in a small tribe—without the wealth and material comforts of the modern world—might experience a deep sense of wellbeing through community, shared purpose, and connection to nature. Meanwhile, a high-earning city-dweller might be buried under credit card debt and mortgage stress, struggling to meet those foundational needs of security and rest.

Tuning Into Your Personal Hierarchy of Needs

Photo by Simon Ray on Unsplash

While Maslow’s pyramid offers a broad framework, the truth is: your personal hierarchy might look very different depending on where you are in your life. Some needs take priority over others, and those priorities can shift day by day, season by season. The key is learning to tune in to what matters most to you right now.

Here are some ways to help you identify your current needs and use that awareness to guide your choices:

1. Check in with your body

Our physical needs often speak through our bodies first. Are you constantly tired? Experiencing tension or headaches? Struggling to sleep or focus? Before reaching for big life changes, it can be helpful to ask: Am I eating well? Sleeping enough? Moving regularly? Sometimes, the most radical act of self-care is rest or nourishment.

2. Name your dominant feelings

Emotions can be powerful indicators of unmet needs. If you’re feeling anxious, lonely, disconnected, or unmotivated, ask yourself what those feelings might be pointing to. Is it a need for connection? Stability? Creative expression? Purpose?

3. Track where your energy naturally goes

Notice what you keep thinking about, longing for, or putting effort into. Are you craving deeper friendships? More financial security? Freedom or structure? The things we obsess over—or avoid—can show us what areas of our lives need tending.

4. Reflect on your recent choices

Sometimes our decisions reveal our values more clearly than our intentions. Have you been prioritising work over rest? Sacrificing connection for achievement? Or saying yes to things that don’t align with what you truly want? Take stock of the patterns and see what they’re rooted in.

5. Ask: what feels most urgent vs. what feels most nourishing?

There’s a difference between needs that feel urgent (like paying bills) and those that nourish your spirit (like creating, learning, or helping others). Both are important. But knowing which one is calling more loudly can help you decide where to place your focus for now.

Let Your Needs Guide Your Next Steps

Once you’ve tuned into what feels most present for you—whether it’s rest, stability, connection, or growth—the next step is gently taking action in that direction. This doesn’t have to mean huge life changes or perfectly executed plans. It starts with small, intentional choices that honour where you are and what you genuinely need. And, for me, it’s fundamental that my needs are met in a way that feels nourishing and not depleting, although this can take a lot of patience, trust, and intentionality. Yes, I would love greater financial security, but depending on how I achieve that, it can put a strain on other important needs like rest or morality, or it could be achieved through enhanced creativity, with a community that has shared values, or even by excelling in a particular skill.

Here are a few tools and practices to help you respond to your personal needs in a pratical, realistic way:

1. Journaling for clarity

Sometimes our needs are just beneath the surface, waiting to be heard. Set aside ten minutes to write freely about how you’re feeling and what you’re craving. Ask yourself: What feels off right now? What would feel nourishing? What do I wish someone could give me? You might be surprised by what comes up.

2. Create a “needs menu”

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or disconnected from yourself, it can help to have a visual reminder. Try listing your top three needs right now—maybe it’s rest, connection, and stability—and underneath each, brainstorm small actions that support them. For example:

• Rest: go to bed 30 minutes earlier, take a bath, cancel one social plan

• Connection: text a friend, schedule a walk-and-talk, join a group

• Stability: review your budget, declutter your space, ask for help at work

Having a “menu” makes it easier to take aligned action when your energy is low or scattered.

3. Anchor your actions in your values

Sometimes we know what we need, but we resist it—especially if it feels boring, scary, or unfamiliar. Remind yourself why this need matters. For example, if you need financial stability, but budgeting feels tedious, reconnect to the value behind it: freedom, peace of mind, choice. Framing action as an act of self-respect or future care can help you follow through.

4. Practice compassionate prioritising

Not every need can be met at once, and that’s okay. Ask: What feels most urgent or foundational right now? Prioritising one need for a season doesn’t mean you’re abandoning the others—it means you’re resourcing yourself so you have the capacity to meet them later. Sometimes the deepest self-growth begins by tending to the basics.

5. Reassess regularly

Your needs will evolve as your life does. What feels urgent today might not be what matters most next month. Make space to check in—weekly, monthly, or seasonally—and ask: What’s changed? What do I need now? Treat it like a gentle recalibration, not a performance review.

Taking stock of your needs and acting on them is not selfish—it’s foundational. When you honour what truly matters to you, your energy becomes more focused, your decisions more aligned, and your wellbeing more sustainable. You don’t have to climb anyone else’s pyramid. You’re building your own.

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